MARRIAGE

 Marriage- often called amalgamation of two souls but is it really so?

Instead of amalgamation, marriage often results in losing of one's entity, identity to support the other. In Indian societies, usually, the woman is expected to compromise. She is the one who leaves her parents' house just to support someone else completely unrelated to her and what she gets in results- just abuses and taunts. I know I may be sounding like a feminist but that is the reality. You won't find a man who left his home to take care of his wife and her parents when they needed support. No, because that is not his responsibility but it is surely his wife's responsibility to take care of his family in fact, it's her duty. They are her priority.

I know our country has progressed, women are not behind men in any way but for those people who say this, today also girls leave their homes after marriage not boys. Why? Just because that's the tradition!!!

And if she tries to take the responsibility of her parents then she is blamed of being partial. People follow the traditions blindly without even understanding their relevance or irrelevance for them as well as for the society.

It's true that marriage is an institution but it is an institution based on inequality. And on top of this all- DOWRY!!! Actually not dowry, giving or taking dowry is a criminal offense, they are "gifts" given by girls' parents for their daughters so that she doesn't face the indirect taunts of her mother-in-law, the grubbiness of her father-in-law and absence of love from her husband. I know today, women take advantage of this anti-dowry act but that doesn't mean this practice is not prevalent in our society. It is there eating away marriages and families.

I am not saying that daughters-in-law are always right and they are always ill treated. My concern is just with the emotional aspect. People should try and understand what a girl is going through leaving her parents' home behind and entering a strange new world. Just be sensitive to her needs and securities.

 

Expectations...

I find it a very big word- so big that it becomes more important than your feelings and relationships. Your feelings have a dressing of expectations. If you can't fulfill them then you are less loved and less cared for. You become the ugly duckling. I have always found relationships very complicated. Love is just not enough. There has to be understanding, compatibility and of course, expectations are also involved. And there is no limit to people's expectations- you do more, they expect more. Like a football match, nobody is going to remember the goals that the goalkeeper saved but they will never forget the ones he missed.

But yes, its true, we are all just humans. Its a part of human nature to expect. If you love someone then you expect love, if you care for someone then you expect care in return. And there is no real harm in that also. Problem arises when your expectations become unrealistic- they become so high that others feel pressurized. It starts decaying a relationship. You feel suffocated. Just think, what if somebody is not able to come upto your expectations, what will you do? He can be anyone- your parent, your friend, your sibling or even your lover. Will you just break off all ties with him or will you sit back and realize?

Realization is very important. Some relationships break just because people don't realize. They don't realize that they can also be at fault. They don't realize the result of their actions.This worsens everything.

If you are expecting something from someone just be sure that you are having realistic expectations and you are not suffocating anyone's life. As they say, " Love is unconditional, but relationships are not."

A FAIRY TALE...

All of us have grown up reading the fairy tales having a princess and a knight in shining armour with a happily ever after end. but not many of us have wondered what happens after this 'happily ever after'. Do the prince and the princess get married? And if they marry, do they face the same situations, same tussles that we share after marriage? Now, one would that that they are the prince and the princess- the future king and queen of their kingdom so obviously they would not have monetary issues but money is not the only issue. How will Cinderella look holding one child in one arm and another in her other arm and one pulling her hair, ever thought about it? Would Snow white nag her prince when he will not listen to her? We have never thought about it!!!

Obviously the Utopia created by fairy tales is short lived. As one grows he/she comes out of it. A person becomes practical and faces the realities which are far different from these fairy tales. No prince will come and bend on his knees to propose you. No one will be enchanted by just your one look. And the boys, most probably, you will not find any damsel in distress waiting for you to help her!

But what if you never want to come out? You are so terrified by the reality that your own fantasy world is an escape from the harsh realities, is it escapism? Being in a state of denial is also like this when you are just not ready to accept. usually it happens as a post-traumatic experience but eventually one accepts the reality. I hope i will also some day. Till then, I am the princess waiting for my knight...

who r u...

who are you...

not my lover

not just a frnd

nor ma relative....

but still

u care for me

still u like me

still u luv me

u r more than a frnd

but cant b ma lover

i love u

bt this luv z diffrnt

mayb i cant define it

nor i can define our relationship

but its tru tht i want 2 b wid u forevr

i cant see u luvin sum1 else

i cant promise ma luv 2 u, evn

but i can promise 2 b wid u

i need u

i want u

i like u

i love u

but

i dont know who r u....